Hindsight and Farsightsedness

I very vividly remember the first time I did it. You know…the ‘pull your arm far away to read something’ move? I was at my sister’s house and was watching my niece apply lipstick. I told her I really liked the color and picked the tube up to note the name of it.  I tried to read it, and found myself moving it to arm’s length to focus on it. I realized in a flash what I had done, and spoke the words I was thinking out loud, “WHAT is happening?”

I have worn glasses since about the age of 12 for nearsightedness. My parents were kind enough to allow me to get contacts at about the age of 15 due to playing softball, (Thanks guys!) and I’ve worn them ever since. Since the lipstick episode, I have resorted to reading glasses as well. I tried the bi-vision contacts. I hated them. Others love them, they just weren’t for me. I’m fine with taking the glasses on and off. My husband who has always had better than perfect vision, literally, found his up close vision diminishing around the age of 55. Most people experience it around 40. The condition has a name. It is Presbyopia. It is a hardening of the lens of the eye making it harder for the eye to focus on things up close. Just one of the more minor things that happens to us as we age. In fact, the word literally translates “old sight’ in Greek. The concept of seeing things that are far away better than things are up close is considered ‘old sight’. Think about that for a minute.

John and I were having a conversation today about this. Our children are clearly all grown and raising their children. I was telling him there are a couple (well, maybe more than that, but in particular) of things that had I to do it over, I would do differently. I would try to spend more one-on-one time with my children individually, especially my daughter. Now, understand, I was a homeschool mom who spent seven days a week, pretty much 365 days a year with my kids. They weren’t lacking in time with me. In fact, time away might have been on their secret wish lists. But I am talking about individual, quality, ‘I see you’ time. 

John, in his wisdom, reminded me of what our lives looked like during that time. We lived in the spin cycle. And while it is easy to look back and think of what could be done differently, or better, when you are in the thick of it you see things from the perspective of the now. ‘Old Sight’ gives us the benefit of several things, and not just distance. Years of experience helps us to gain an advantage of being able to discern what is important over what is urgent. What matters over what seems critical. People over things. Relationships over stuff. 

I remember a conversation that had an impact on me for years. We were having an event at our church that required our choir to be there for several nights. One of my closest friends let me know she wasn’t going to be there. I asked her what about the choir performance? (We were not that big of a choir.) She smiled and told me that her son was playing the violin in the talent show at school. Then she said something I have never forgotten. 

“Kerri, those people at church may be upset that I’m not in my place. But how long will it be before they have forgotten all about it. And me? But if I’m not there for (…….)’s violin solo, he will remember it possibly for the rest of his life. I choose to be there for my son.” Now, true or not, whether or not he would have remembered it forever or been that deeply affected, we will never know. Because she chose her son. Her priority was not a Middle School talent show, but the heart of a child. Her child. 

I do wish I had made more lunch dates with my daughter and maybe gone shopping more. (Yuk)  But I am reminded of the times of conversations with a teenager sitting on the kitchen counter. Hanging out on the bank of the river in our back yard. Driving in the car. And now, each year my daughter and granddaughter and I take a girls’ trip for some quality time. It’s about redeeming the time, and there is still time.

Old Sight isn’t so bad. It gives us clarity. It comes with some wisdom and insight that God intends us to share with others coming up behind us. That is if they will but listen.